Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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