Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
