Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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