Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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