Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
