There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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