So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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