woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
