that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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