summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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