Me too!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
