Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
