she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
