You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
