I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
