what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
someone owes me an orgasm
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
