i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
