Do vagina's smell?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
