I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
