i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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