That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
