he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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