Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
