He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
