Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
