Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I could fuck to npr.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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