Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
