How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
