Plan B is the new Plan A
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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