Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
