yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
