i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wear drunk well.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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