I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
