arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
