my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
