there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
