its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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