In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
