omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
