Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
