I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
