6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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