I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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