im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
