TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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