is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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