I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
