it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I will be naked everywhere
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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