Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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