don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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