i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
