Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
