Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
