Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
