I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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