We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
